Liverpool maintained their advantage with a slender 1 – 0 victory over Portsmouth. Tony Adams in his first game in charge after being confirmed as Harry Redknapp’s replacement looked as though his charges would suffocate their hosts before Diop handled in the area with fourteen minutes remaining, L’il Stevie Gerrard despatched the resultant penalty. Robbie Keane Watch: Well, he looked dapper in the stands and looked more likely to score with blondes around him than he does in the Premier League when he is on the pitch.

Chelsea acted tough before their defeat to Liverpool and were back to their party spoiling ways as they crushed Hull City 3 – 0 at the KC Stadium. Frank Lampard set them on their way with a third minute strike, the rout being completed by the French duo of Anelka and Malouda in the second half.

Arsenal stumbled into third place, recovering from an audacious David Bentley strike to subsequently drop a two-goal lead in their 4 – 4 draw with Tottenham Hotspur at The Emirates Stadium. A Mikael Silvestre header nine minutes before the interval cancelled out Bentley’s thirteenth minute opener, the former Gunner hammering a volley past the hapless Manuel Almunia from forty yards. William Gallas scored another header a minute into the second half before Emmanuel Adebayor added a third capitalising on Alan Hutton’s slow recovery to force the ball home. It set about a mad five minutes as Bent made it 3 – 2, scoring from Almunia’s fumble before Hutton gifted the ball to Adebayor who set Robin van Persie up for 4 – 2. It seemed that the match would fizzle out before Jermaine Jenas punished Gael Clichy’s slip to score from twenty yards. Harry Redknapp’s passionate affair with Lady Luck paid off as Aaron Lennon reacted first to Luca Modric’s shot that came back off the post in the 94th minute.

Manchester United closed in on the top four, comfortably beating West Ham United 2 – 0 at Old Trafford. Two Cristiano Ronaldo goals did the damage in the opening half-hour but it goes to fuel more flames in the fire that supports the theory he is a bit of a Johnny-Come-Lately who struggles to score away from home. Having won the FIFPro Player of the Year award, he needs to improve that aspect of his game if he is to be considered a true great of the world game.

As it was, Aston Villa came back from Stephen Warnock’s 30th minute opener to overcome Blackburn Rovers 3 – 2 at Villa Park. Luke Young equalised on the stroke of half-time, bundling the ball home with his knee after a bout of pinball in the Rovers area. The turn around came as Gareth Barry got his third in three games before Gabriel Agbonlahor scored Villa’s third from Ashley Young’s pass. A last minute Brett Emerton freekick for all its majesty was little more than a consolation.

At the other end of the table, Stoke City recorded a rare win, beating Sunderland 1 – 0 at The Britannia Stadium, Ricardo Fuller getting the games only goal. It meant that Bolton Wanderers dropped into the bottom two as they succumbed to a 90th minute Fellaini goal in their 0 – 1 defeat at home to Everton. The relegation places are completed with Wigan Athletic, their 0 – 2 reverse at Craven Cottage gave Fulham three much needed points. Andy Johnson got both, his first for the club since his move from Everton.

The North East had a ray rare of sunshine this week with both Newcastle United and Middlesbrough winning at home. The Magpies defeated West Bromwich Albion 2 – 1 at St James Park, Thug In Chief, Joey Barton gave a sickening display of chest thumping following his tenth minute penalty conversion, a lead doubled by Shola Ameobi just before the break. Although Albion pulled one back through Miller midway through the second half, the victory led Joe Kinnear to demand an end to the uncertainty and a more permanent contract. Not bad for the manager of a team who are fourth bottom.

At The Cellnet Riverside Stadium, Manchester City and their money pitched up, leading to a comprehensive mugging at the hands of Middlesbrough. Robinho’s stated aim of thirty goals in a season took a battering as did the City defence with Afonso Alves with a penalty and Gary O’Neill in the last minute did the damage.

The top two met at Stamford Bridge as Liverpool took their appalling record against fellow members of the top four during Rafa Benitez’s reign to face Chelsea, undefeated at home in four years and eighty-six Premier League matches. Cue the idiosyncracies of football as Xabi Alonso scored the only goal of the game in the tenth minute and later struck the post as the visitors deservedly took all three points. Chelsea were generally toothless in attack and struggled to hit the proverbial barn door despite monopolising possession. Robbie Keane was seen in Luxembourg practising for the Eurovision entry as it looks like that will be the only way he wins a point this season.

Hull City had joined those two at the top briefly with a 3 – 0 win at The Hawthorns. Whilst the scoreline might have been emphatic, the victory certainly was not as both defences proved particularly porous. Had it not been for two fine goalkeeping displays by Carson of West Bromwich Albion and Myhill of Hull, the watching public might have seen a ten goal thriller. As it was, Zayetta, Geovanni and King settled the match.

Arsenal loom in fourth place, comprehensive 2 – 0 winners over the seemingly free-falling West Ham United. Faubert put through his own net with fifteen minutes to go which was the cue for The Hammers support to depart Upton Park, en masse when Adebayor added a second close to the final whistle. It was all too much for Carlton Cole whose frustration spilled over with a rash challenge on Alex Song as West Ham finished pointless and down to ten men.

Aston Villa donned their invisible cape and snuck into fifth place with a 4 – 0 win at the JJB over Wigan Athletic. Gareth Barry opened the scoring from the spot before Gabby Agbonlahor doubled the lead twelve minutes into the second half. Five minutes later John Carew made it three before the victory was sealed with Steve Sidwell’s first Premier League goal for the club.

Villa leapfrogged Manchester United who blew the chance presented to them by Darren Fletcher’s goal to succumb to Fellaini’s equaliser as Everton salvaged a point. Morons R Us works outing to The Stadium of Light saw twenty-nine arrests and a home win for the first time since 1980 as Sunderland beat Newcastle United 2 – 1. The fans fought the law but the law won as goals from Cisse and Richardson for the hosts saw off Ameobi’s effort.

Those events were somewhat overshadowed on the back pages as ‘Appy ‘Arry Redknapp pitched up at White Hart Lane to replace Juande Ramos and Daniel Commolli to take charge of strife-riven outfit. Spurs responded by beating Bolton 2 – 0, Pavlyuchenko and Bent the goalscorers. With Daniel Levy’s track record of managerial cock-ups, the depth of the revival will be put to a stiff test with matches in the coming days at Arsenal and at home to Liverpool.

Portsmouth responded to Redknapp’s departure by denying that this was due to money pressures although the £5m crammed into a battered suitcase that was left in the boardroom by Daniel Levy no doubt softened the blow. Peter Crouch gave them the lead in the match against Fulham but Clint Dempsey’s equaliser gave the visitors a share of the points in the 1 – 1 draw at Fratton Park.

Blackburn and Middlesbrough had them rocking and rolling in the aisles in a frankly dire encounter that seems to be something of a habit for the visitors these days. Alves scored with fifteen minutes to go for the visitors but Benni McCarthy squared it all with barely a gnats left on the clock in a drab 1 – 1 draw. Finally, Manchester City drubbed Stoke City 3 – 0 thanks to a Robinho hat trick. The Brazilian promptly set himself a target of thirty goals for the season which might prove a taller order than he thinks when you bear City’s traditional falling star routine post-Christmas.

GROUP A

Chelsea maintained their unbeaten start to see themselves three points clear at the top of Group A. John Terry’s seventy-eighth minute winner enough to see off AS Roma who will nervously be eyeing the result in Romania as their qualification is starting to look a little precarious. Bordeaux did them a favour by beating CFR Cluj-Napoca by a solitary Cadu own goal. Matters got worse for the Romanians with Trica being sent off in the last minute. Chelsea top the group with seven points, Cluj second with four. Roma have three and will be looking for at least a point in a fortnight’s time when Chelsea visit the Eternal City.

GROUP B

The big two met in Milan where Internazionale laboured to see off the challenge of Anorthosis Famagusta. Adriano scored the only goal of the game a minute before the interval. Panathinaikos teetered with elimination as they fell behind to a Mertesacker goal for Werder Bremen. Greek eyes were smiling as Mantzios scored twice either side of half-time but the Germans are nothing if not durable opponents and equalised through Hugo Almeida with seven minutes remaining. Inter are top with seven points, Famagusta second with four, Werder have three.

GROUP C

Barcelona can confirm their qualification from the Group phase with a win over Basle in the Camp Nou in a fortnight’s time. Every indication that will be the outcome after they crushed the Swiss side 5 – 0 in Basle with goals from Messi on four, Busquets on the quarter hour and Bojan seven minutes later put them in command. Bojan and Xavi scored twice in the first three minutes of the second half to complete the rout. They look likely to be joined by Sporting Lisbon for whom Liedson scored the only goal in their win at Shaktar Donetsk. Barcelona have nine points, Sporting six, Shaktar three.

GROUP D

In the Vicente Calderon a match took place, UEFA finally seeing sense after their farcical decision to ban Atletico Madrid for two home matches, a week before the first of those kicked off. Liverpool took the lead through Robbie Keane who is fast becoming the stereotypical tourist; a layabout at home but scoring in Europe. Despite good opportunities, it took the hosts eighty-three minutes before they equalised through Simao Sabrosa. Dutch champions PSV Eindhoven ended their barren spell with a 2 – 0 victory over Marseilles. A Koevermans double effectively eliminating the French champions from this years competition, although a three goal victory in matchday four will put them in pole position for the UEFA Cup spot. Liverpool are top with seven, ahead of Atletico on head-to-head results. PSV occupy third with three points.

GROUP E

In the Battle of Britain, Manchester United swept past Celtic, their 3 – 0 victory putting them at the top of Group E. Goals from Rooney and a Berbatov brace souring Gordon Strachan’s return to Old Trafford. Villarreal made hard work of AaB Aalborg to join United in second place. Saganowski gave the Danes the lead before Rossi and Cadevila put the Spaniards ahead ten minutes before the interval. When the break came, the match was all square as Enevoldsen equalised. It proved the cue for The Yellow Submarine to go on a goal blitz as Llorente scored twice in three minutes before Johansson made matters a little nervy for the hosts. Pires and Llorente’s hat-trick completed a 6 – 3 win. United and Villarreal both have seven points with Celtic and Aalborg one apiece.

GROUP F

Bayern Munich returned to winning ways, comfortably easing past Fiorentina with a 3 – 0 victory. Klose and Schweinsteiger scored in the first half before Ze Roberto finished matters off in the last minute. It was a goalfest in Bucharest as Lyon put five past Steaua who managed a paltry three in reply. Arthuro and Goian put Steaua into a two-goal lead before Keita and Benzema levelled matters. Petre then restored the Romanians advantage but that just served to make the French side mad. Fred got a brace and Benzema another in the second half blitz to leave Bayern top with seven points, Lyon in second with five, Fiore have two.

GROUP G

Fenerbahce welcomed Arsenal to Hell but the Londoners were on the side of the angels as they ran out 5 – 2 winners in Istanbul. Adebayor and Walcott scored twice in a minute before Silvestre put through his own net. Diaby then hit back for Arsenal to take a 3 – 1 lead with a quarter of the match played. Alex Song added a fourth with four minutes of the second half played. Dani Guiza tightened Arsenal sphincters a little with eleven minutes to go but Welsh international, Aaron Ramsey, scored a superb strike in injury time for an emphatic win. With Dynamo Kyiv winning 1 – 0 thanks to Aliev’s goal on twenty-seven minutes at Porto, Arsenal can qualify with a victory in the return provided Porto do not win in Kyiv. The Gunners have seven points, Kyiv five, Porto two.

GROUP G

Two of this competition’s illustrious rivals met in Turin where Juventus scraped past Real Madrid 2 – 1. It was a close run thing as Del Piero broke the deadlock with a thunderous strike and Amauri doubled the lead shortly after half-time. Real threw everything including the kitchen sink at Alex Manninger but he kept all of it bar a Ruud van Nistelrooy effort midway through the second half. In Russia, Zenit St Petersburg fell behind to BATE Borisov when Nekhaychik strcuk seven minutes in the second half. Tekke levelled matters with ten minutes to go. Juve top the group with seven, Real have six and BATE two.

GROUP A

Chelsea sat on top of the Premier League as well as this qualification group prior to their visit to Romania and at the end of the evening were still there thanks to a goalless draw against surprise package CFR Cluj-Napoca. Even the bookings were level with two apiece in a forgettable clash. AS Roma meanwhile, travelled to France knowing that a defeat to Girondins Bordeaux would effectively end their hopes of qualification. As it was, they unleashed The Beast and ran out comfortable 3 – 1 winners. It was not without a scare as Youann Gorcuff gave the French side the lead on eighteen minutes, the game changing with the dismissal of Henrique eight minutes before half-time. Vucinic brought the Italians level with a quarter of the game remaining leaving the stage set for Julio Baptista to revive memories of the form that made him one of Sevilla’s prized assets. He scored twice in the last nineteen minutes to allow the Romans to dream of being in the final.

GROUP B

In a match laden with political overtones, Anorthosis Famagusta entertained Panathinaikos and ran out comfortable 3 – 1 winners to maintain their top spot. A Sarriegi own goal after eleven minutes set the rot for the Greeks, Dobrasinovic doubling the Cypriots lead five minutes later. Salpigidis pulled one back with barely half an hour on the clock but defeat was assured when Mulla Mohammed scored with twelve minutes of the match remaining. Internazionale were second on alphabetical order as they were held to a 1 – 1 draw by Werder Bremen. Maicon gave the Italians the lead with a quarter of an hour played only for Pizarro to level the match with a second half equaliser.

GROUP C

Barcelona maintained their 100% start to the competition with a late win in the Ukraine. Shaktar Donetsk took the lead through Ilsinho on the the stroke of half-time before Argentenean wonderkid, Lionel Messi, scored twice in the last three minutes. Controvesy followed the win with Barca accused of lacking sporting grace by not kicking the ball into touch with a Shaktar player injured in the build-up to the equaliser. That the ruling was abandoned by FIFA a couple of seasons ago has done little to help ease the Ukrainians pain.Sporting Lisbon recovered from their mauling in the Camp Nou to ease past whipping boys Basle in Portugal. Romagnoli and Derlei the scorers in a 2 – 0 victory.

GROUP D

In the Vicente Calderon, the headlines were garnered by crowd trouble for which Atletico de Madrid were hastily punished by UEFA. A two-match home ban was subsequently suspended until a full appeal hearing could be heard on October 30th. It did not stop the Spaniards enjoying a 2 – 1 win over Olympique Marseille, Kun Aguero opened the scoring on four minutes only for Niang to level twelve minutes later. The winner came with barely a quarter of the match played, Raul Garcia the days hero. Liverpool followed their win in Marseille with a comfortable 3 – 1 victory over PSV Eindhoven at Anfield. Hold the front, back and centre pages! Crack the champagne, break out the bunting, have a sausage roll in celebration for Robbie Keane scored!!! Dirk Kuyt started the party mood, air guitaring through Agadoo after his fifth minute opener and L’ilStevie Gerrard finished it all off. The Dutch consolation coming from Koevermans.

GROUP E

Bruce Rioch locked horns with an English club once more and found his AaB Aalborg side on the wrong side of a double from Dimitar Berbatov and a Wayne Rooney goal as Manchester United cruised to a 3 – 0 victory in Denmark. Celtic’s abysmal away record in Europe continues, a Marcos Senna goal sending them to defeat at Villarreal. The last time that The Bhoys won in Europe, Gladstone was still Prime Minister of Britain or at least that is the way it feels to Gordon Strachan.

GROUP F

Bayern Munchen‘s indifferent start to the season continued with a 1 – 1 draw at home to Olympique Lyonnais. Juninho gave the visitors the lead midway through the first half before his compatriot, Ze Roberto, levelled proceedings seven minutes into the second half. Steaua Bucharest could not hit the backside of a cow with a banjo nor the back of the net in a goalless draw in Florence. Nor could cFiorentina so that made a mockery of all the claims that the Champions League is the pinnacle of club football.

GROUP G

Having surrendered their unbeaten home record at the weekend to Hull City, Arsenal might have expected a sterner test from FC Porto. Whilst the Portuguese giants may not be fallen, they are certainly slumbering. Having spurned a golden chance minutes before Robin van Persie opened the scoring just past the half hour, Porto crumbled when faced with Arsenal’s attack. Emmanuel Adebayor doubled the lead before the interval before the duo got their braces in the second half, Arsenal’s 4 – 0 victory sending them to the top of the group. Fenerbahce and Dynamo Kyiv failed to hit the target in Istanbul, leaving the Turks with a tall order to qualify.

GROUP H

BATE Borisov shocked Juventus by racing into a two-goal lead through Krivets and Stasevich before a quarter of the game had been played. Such fairytales could not last as Iaquinta scored twice before half-time to level matters. A goalless second half meant the match finished 2 – 2. Zenit St Petersburg are finding life at Europe’s top table considerably more difficult to stomach than the UEFA Cup was last season. A Hubocan own goal gave Real Madrid the lead after six minutes, Danny equalising twenty minutes later. When Ruud van Nistelrooy struck on thirty-one, the Russians had no reply as Real ran out 2 – 1 winners in Russia.

Chelsea emphasised their good form at The Riverside with a magnificent 5 – 0 thumping of hapless Middlesbrough. Saloman Kalou opened the scoring on fourteen minutes and that was the way it stayed until the fifty-first minute when Belletti doubled the advantage. Three goals in fourteen minutes then put the contest beyond doubt as Kalou netted his second with Lampard and Malouda completing the rout.

With the first half over at Anfield, Chelsea looked set fair to open a three point gap up over their nearest rivals, Liverpool trailing Wigan and generally having been used as floor mops during the course of the first half. Amr Zaki broke the deadlock just before the half-hour, a lead pegged back by Dirk Kuyt whose celebrations included a quick snatch of ‘The Ace Of Spades’, previewing his entry in the Air Guitar World Cup. Not to be outdone, Zaki scored one of the goals of the season with a spectacular bicycle kick in first half injury time. Matters nearly went from bad to worse for Liverpool as the woodwork denied the visitors but as usual, weak officiating at the Kop End saved the day as for the second week running, Liverpool’s opponents were reduced to ten men, Valencia receiving two yellow cards. Albert Riera drew the hosts level with ten minutes to go and Kuyt performed ‘Highway To Hell’ following his eighty-third minute winner. Robbie Keane Watch: No goals mean that his eBay auction would fetch about twenty pence.

Hull City are Riding Along On The Crest Of A Wave as they brought forth a slew of really bad London 0 Hull 4 from the Sheep. Flag Day arrived with Turner’s goal enough to give them a 1 – 0 win over West Ham United at the KC Stadium.

Arsenal fans have long sung, “Let’s all laugh” at Tottenham so it seems a shame for the rest of us not to join in, particularly as they are serving up performances of a similar quality to the jokes of Jimmy Cricket – not the Disney character but the crap 1980s comedian – crumbling like a stale cake to a 2 – 1 at The Britannia Stadium. Stoke City took the lead when Danny Higginbotham converted a nineteenth minute penalty following a professional foul by Gareth Bale that earned the Spurs defender an early bath. The shower were still on the pitch and fought back to equalise through Darren Bent six minutes later. Rory Delap grabbed the points for Stoke and it might have been more were it not for the woodwork, Gomes and a missed penalty. Indeed, Gomes might be considered more of a danger to his own defence than any forward, poleaxing Corluka twice. Obviously he was not satisfied with his first effort and needed the second to completely total the Croat.

On the subject of Arsenal which I vaguely was, they overcame Leon Osman’s ninth minute opener to beat Everton at The Emirates. Goals from Nasri, Adebayor and Walcott in the second half secured a 3 – 1 win. Eejits R Us had their clearance sale and one found his way to Villa Park where a coin hit the Assistant Referee. It was the only thing that hit the target as Aston Villa and Portsmouth served up a goalless draw. Mind you, according to Harry Redknapp the coin was aimed at him so that missed as well. Nothing was on target at The Reebok as Bolton, continued to fail to beat Blackburn Rovers at home, the tenth year running that the visitors have left this derby with at least one point.

Keiran Richardson found the net with a storming freekick that was ruled out for Chimbonda’s shenanigans in the wall as Sunderland left Craven Cottage scratching their heads as to how they did not beat Fulham. It wasn’t the only foul play in the wall as Jimmy Bullard grabbed Chimbonda in the box in the lead up to Richardson’s effort. The woodwork also played its part, leaving the unveiling of Johnny Haynes statue before kick-off as the memorable event of the day.

Least surprising result of the day was Manchester United’s 4 – 0 drubbing of West Bromwich Albion. Second half goals from Rooney, Ronaldo, Berbatov and Nani did the damage. At Newcastle, Rob Styles was the villain of the piece wrongly dismissing Beye in the twelfth minute, a decision overturned on appeal by the FA. Robinho converted the resultant penalty but it only sparked the Toon into action as Ameobi and a Richard Dunne own goal seemed to have given them three points before Stephen Ireland popped up to salvage an equaliser for Manchester City.

Chelsea and Liverpool shared top spot at the start of a weekend that saw them face tricky matches against teams with aspirations to break the big four cartel. At Stamford Bridge, the leaders overcame Aston Villa comfortably, a team who had taken four out of six points from them last season. First half goals from Joe Cole and Nicolas Anelka saw the hosts cruise to a 2 – 0 victory and maintain their position as Leaders of the Pack on goal difference.

At the City of Manchester Stadium, Liverpool overcame a two-goal deficit at half-time to win 3 – 2 and stay in touch with Chelsea. Stephen Ireland gave Manchester City the lead in the nineteenth minute, an advantage doubled four minutes before the break by Garrido. Ten minutes into the second half and Fernando Torres pulled one back but still Liverpool toiled. Their lucky break came with the dismissal of Zabaleta, reducing City to ten men with a quarter of the match remaining. The Reds took just six minutes to take advantage when Torres grabbed his second of the afternoon but they had to wait until two minutes into stoppage time before Dirk Kuyt stole in for the winner and wheeled away to strains of ‘Smoke on the Water’, practising for this year’s Dutch Air Guitar championships. Robbie Keane Watch: Still not as valuable as the Mickey Mouse version and largely as effective in the goalscoring stakes.

Having won their previous match at The Emirates, Hull City travelled to White Hart Lane to take on shambolic Spurs and emerged with all three points thanks to a superb Geovanni freekick, curled into Gomes net on nine minutes. Third place and no signs of the nosebleeds ending such is the rarified heights to which they have climbed. Tottenham continue to be laughed at by everyone with the comedy not just limited to events on the pitch. Juande Ramos received a vote of confidence from Daniel Levy whom nobody trusts so Ramos ought really to be digging out his passport to get the next flight home.

Manchester United seem to have awoken from their slumbers, their 2 – 0 victory at Ewood Park seeing them climb quietly up the table following an indistinguished start. Not that the victory was without controvesy, Blackburn Rovers aggrieved that Wes Brown’s opener on the half-hour was allowed to stand despite Vidic’s baulking of Rovers keeper Jason Brown in the build-up. Wayne Rooney lumbered up for the upcoming internationals with a second on sixty-four minutes.

Sunderland came within seconds of sending Arsenal to consecutive Premier League defeats at The Lido, sorry, Stadium of Light. Robin van Persie had a perfectly good goal erroneously ruled out by the officials, especially the Assistant Referee who could not possibly have seen whether or not the ball was out before Theo Walcott crossed. Grant Leadbitter robbed Alex Song of the ball with four minutes to go before Cesc Fabregas headed home in the deep end to salvage a 1 – 1 draw.

At Goodison Park, Everton raced into a two-goal lead against Newcastle. Mikel Arteta broke the deadlock on seventeen with a penalty before Fellaini doubled their advantage with thirty-five minutes played. Joe Kinnear’s expletive quota was ready to go into overdrive at the interval and having left his seat in the Director’s Box, he missed Steven Taylor’s injury-time goal, cursing no doubt a ban not served from four seasons ago. The air turned as blue as Everton’s shirts when he retook his seat for the second half, finding he had missed Damien Duff’s equaliser in the 2 – 2 draw.

West Ham United had been riding on the crest of a wave since Gianfranco Zola’s arrival but Gary Megson’s Bolton side cried, “Surf’s Up”, first and raced into a thoroughly deserved two-goal half-time lead with goals from Kevin Davies and Gary Cahill thanks to some slapstick goalkeeping from Robert Green. Carlton Cole pulled one back with twenty minutes to go but the 3 – 1 win was confirmed for The Trotters with Matt Taylor’s stunning freekick four minutes from time.

At The JJB Stadium, ninety minutes of tedium was broken with one minute to go by Jeremie Aliadiere stole the only goal of the game to give Middlesbrough a 1 – 0 win over Wigan which was the same scoreline that West Bromwich Albion beat Fulham by at The Hawthorns, Roman Bednar breaking the deadlock one minute past the hour mark. At Fratton Park, Stoke City’s woes continued as they slumped to a 2 – 1 defeat against Portsmouth. Peter Crouch and Jermaine Defoe scored for the home side, sandwiching Fuller’s strike for The Potters.

ROAD TO ROME – CHAMPIONS LEAGUE MATCHDAY 1

GROUP A

All roads lead to Rome so the old saying goes but for AS Roma the pressure of being the club whose ground will host the 2009 final proved too much to bear in their encounter with CFR Cluj-Napoca of Romania. Christian Panucci gave the Italians the lead on seventeen minutes before their world turned upside down, the Romanians reversing the deficit to win 2 – 1. Culio scored once in thirty-two appearances in 2007-08; in Rome, he doubled that tally in twenty-two minutes, the first on twenty-seven, and the second two minutes into the second half.

At Stamford Bridge, Chelsea ended the French resistance of Girodins Bordeaux, steamrolling through their defences at will. Frank Lampard opened the scoring after fourteen minutes, Joe Cole doubling that lead on half-an-hour. The comfortable 4 – 0 victory was sealed in the last eight minutes with goals from Malouda and Anelka.

GROUP B

Goals were in short supply in this group as Werder Bremen failed to break the stubborn defences of Cypriots Anorthosis Famagusta, the match ended goalless. Jose Mourinho took his Internazionale side to Greece to play Panathinaikos. No requirement to beware the Greeks bearing gifts as the Italian champions ran out comfortable 2 – 0 winners, Mancini and Adriano the scorers.

GROUP C

Barcelona may be stumbling in La Liga but they were positively purring in the Camp Nou, cruising to a 3 – 1 victory Sporting Lisbon. Marquez broke the deadlock midway through the first half, Samuel Eto’o increasing the lead on the hour, converting a penalty. Despite Tonel pulling a goal back on seventy-three, the win was in little doubt, a fact sealed with Xavi scoring three minutes from time.

Samba rhythms dominated the Swiss nightline as Shaktar Dontesk danced through their encounter with FC Basle. The boys from Brazil, Fernandinho and Jadson scored twice in the first half to give the Ukrainians a 2 – 1 win, Abraham scoring for the hosts with seconds remaining.

GROUP D

Atletico Madrid made their debut in the Champions League and had a night to remember in Eindhoven, blowing PSV aside in a 3 – 0 victory. Kun Aguero scored twice in thirty-six minutes before Maniche added the third on fifty-four, the Dutch helpless in their response.

In the south of France, Marseille might have fancied their chances against Liverpool, especially when Cana gave them a twenty-third minute lead. It was not to last as they succumbed to Steven Gerrard’s ninety-eighth and ninth goals for the Merseysiders, the equaliser a stunning shot from twenty-five yards three minutes after the French had scored. The winner coming from the penalty-spot six minutes later. Robbie Keane might not be finding the back of the in Premier League so it was entirely consistent that he did not trouble the French either.

GROUP E

Pointless playing the games really as none of Manchester United, Villarreal, Celtic or AaB Aalborg could hit a barn door, let alone find the back of the net. Indeed had they not kicked off at Celtic Park, Beauchamp of Aalborg would not have been sent off in the seventy-ninth minute.

GROUP F

A tight group on paper proved to be just that in reality with Steaua Bucharest succumbing to a fourteenth minute strike by van Buyten to give Bayern Munchen the points in the Romanian capital. In Lyon, the hosts gifted Fiorentina a two goal advantage with Albert Gilardino scoring in the eleventh and forty-second minutes. The French side fought back with two goals in twelve second-half minutes through Piquionne on seventy-three and Benzema on eighty-five, which probably makes his value €80.1m.

GROUP H

BATE Borisov may have thought that they had drawn the short straw with a visit to the Bernabeu but despite leaving the Spanish capital with ‘nil points’, better teams than they have been handed heavier defeats than the 2 – 0 scoreline inflicted upon them by Real Madrid. Pin-up of La Liga, Sergio Ramos, opened the scoring on eleven minutes but one of the less beautiful people gracing the top flight of any league, Ruud van Nistelrooy, made the Madrileños wait until the fifty-seventh minute for the second.

Juventus returned from the exile caused by the, ahem, dubious business practices that engulfed the club three seasons ago to beat UEFA Cup holders, Zenit St Petersburg by a single Del Piero goal fourteen minutes from time.

Michel Platini endlessly pontificates on the romantic nature of football, championing the small clubs, berating their larger, richer cousins. Chastising borrowers, criticising those who do not give youth a chance, all the while sitting in his Ivory Tower doing little or nothing to implement these policies, hamstrung by the committee structure that pervades UEFA, frustrated at every turn in his attempts to force a more egalitarian structure onto European football.

Last week’s outburst against Arsene Wenger, hastily retracted following a scolding from his father, suggests that Platini is a very frustrated man. Wenger in recent weeks had made comments that were befitting of a UEFA Chairman, observing that the new wealth in English football meant more vigilance had to be applied to funding sources and the new owners Modus Operandi in the transfer market, coupled with championing video technology to aide referees. Platini sat back, seething quietly until his barbed riposte.

In doing so, Platini proved to be an exceptionally frustrated man. He enthused about Cluj’s win in the Champions League, overcoming a goal deficit and Roman home advantage, proclaiming that it was proof of the beauty of football, of the romanticism that makes the game a worldwide spectacle. When results such as this happen, he claims that it is a reminder of how football used to be. Yet football has never been a safe haven for the minnows.

Scanning the list of winners of the UEFA’s flagship tournament, the fifty-one finals barely register any shock winners. Six winners could be classed as such but two-thirds of the tournaments have been won by ten clubs, hardly suggesting much romance.

Platini is a man caught in a trap; his role at UEFA brings great authority but little real power. It allows him to fuel his romantic notions but not to implement them. As a result, his frustration grows and explodes in erratic outbursts. It also manifests in a scattergun approach to targets, some hitting home, others are woefully chosen.

Prior to the Champions League final in Moscow, he lamented how the participants were those who were heavily indebted, buying success on credit that will never be repaid fully. Manchester United and Chelsea would argue that the success achieved validates their financial policies and as long as they are servicing those debts, where is the issue?

Problematically for Platini, UEFA is one of the root causes of that particular path being trodden. It is imperative for the top European clubs to participate in the Champions League, the rewards are simply too great for them not to. UEFA know this to be the case yet they will not act upon it nor will they publicly acknowledge it. The dichotomy has simple solutions but these will not be implemented. In the end, the Champions League is killing European club competition.

The European Cup Winners Cup fell by the wayside in the 1990s, attention diverted by stronger UEFA and Champions Cup competitions; the former is heading for the oblivion. The strength of the tournament had been the participation of stronger clubs, finishing in the top for of their leagues. Now they are in the Champions League. Ham-fisted reorganisations of the UEFA Cup have led to a shambolic structure that had a group stage that served little purpose.

Once more UEFA have re-branded the competition, a replica of the Champions League, entitled ‘The Europa League’. It will not grab the attention for long, as the sub-standard nature of the matches does not attract the revenue from sponsors with no surprise being registered if the tournament ceases to exist in the next decade.

Masters of their own Universe, UEFA are proving to be the seeds of their own destruction. The removal of the knockout element of their tournaments has proven financially successful but from a sporting point of view, it has killed the spectacle. Seedings have further diminished the competitive element. Even before a ball has been kicked, at least twelve of the sixteen participants of the knockout phase of the Champions League can be successfully listed. Unless Platini manipulates the tournament further, very soon the elite will be the only ones who matter on a continental scale.

Arsenal started the day in top spot and were expected to crush Hull City at The Emirates. Football though has a habit of bringing you back to Earth, the visitors doing so by winning 2 – 1. It did not seem that it would be the case when Cesc Fabregas forced McShane to put through his own net five minutes into the second half but Geovanni scored a thumping equaliser from thirty yards, followed by a Cousin header from a corner two minutes later. Hull held out thankful to some fine goalkeeping from Myhill and the intervention of the crossbar from a Gallas header.

The two hundred and eighth Merseyside derby followed the pattern of recent years with Tim Cahill receiving his marching orders for a wild tackle on Xabi Alonso, the eighth player to do so in as many seasons. Everton slumped to a 0 – 2 defeat, Fernando Torres scoring a quick-fire brace to give Liverpool top spot albeit temporarily. Robbie Keane paid back about 50p of his transfer fee by setting up both goals but yet again proved to be closer to becoming the first footballer on the moon than scoring his first Liverpool goal.

Chelsea travelled to the Britannia Stadium, favourites to put Stoke City to a swift end and despite some pressure from the hosts, did exactly that in a 2 – 0 victory. Jose Bosingwa scored his first for the club after his summer move from Porto, the second added by Anelka in the second half. Cristiano Ronaldo made his first Premier League start of the season for Manchester United and scored the first in their 2 – 0 win over Bolton Wanderers in what was a generally lacklustre performance. Ronaldo fell over in the penalty area and unsurprisingly won a spot-kick, which he duly converted. Wayne Rooney emerged from the bench and added a second in the seventy-seventh minute.

Gianfranco Zola’s reign at West Ham continued its’ bright start with a 2 – 1 win at Craven Cottage, Fulham falling closer to the bottom three as a result. Carlton Cole broke the deadlock two minutes before the interval, Matthew Etherington adding the second in injury-time. The hosts rarely looked like pegging them back but a Danny Murphy penalty on the hour gave them hope but The Hammers held out for their second win in a week.

Nobody bet on a 2 – 1 result at The Riverside, just as well really as former ‘Boro captain brought his West Brom team to raid and emerge with a 1 – 0 victory over Middlesbrough thanks to an Olsson goal in the fifty-third minute. A short hop, skip and jump up the road to Newcastle saw the farce at St James Park descend further as Blackburn outplayed them in their 2 – 1 win. Chris Samba opened the scoring with a dubious header, the defender clearly offside when the ball was despatched from a free-kick. Roque Santa Cruz sealed the win four minutes before half-time although Michael Owen won and converted a penalty in the fifty-first minute to offer hope to the Geordies. Another false dawn arose, the debacle completed when it emerged that interim manager, Joe Kinnear, cannot sit on the touchline for two games due to a ban from 2004 that had yet to be served. Still, at least he brightened the day by swearing on Football Focus at lunchtime, much to the embarrassment of the cringeworthy presenter.

Aston Villa are going about their business quietly, climbing to third in the table with a 2 – 1 win over Sunderland, completing a miserable afternoon for the North-East. Footballing Peer, Djibril Cisse, gave the visitors a tenth minute lead, cancelled out by Ashley Young eight minutes later. John Carew won the match on thirty-three, the summer’s tribulations over Gareth Barry disappearing in a haze of good results for The Villains.

Wigan hosted the Manchester City rich kids and promptly taught them that money can’t buy you love or three points for that matter, the hosts winning 2 – 1. Antonio Valencia opened the scoring after a quarter of an hour with a stunning thirty yard effort that left Joe Hart in City goal helpless. Robinho went close soon afterwards but if fell to Vincent Kompany to equalise, heading home an Elano free-kick. The match was settled when Wilson Palacios produced a dive that would earned him 5.9 from Olympic judges. Referee Steve Bennett gave it a 6 and Wigan a penalty that Amr Zaki despatched comfortably.

Tottenham headed to the South Coast and ye olde worlde charms of Fratton Park on a high having won at Newcastle in the Carling Cup. Portsmouth had conceded ten in their last two games so an away win was on the cards. Only kidding, this is Spurs after all and they were undone by two former players and an Arsenal loanee in Pompey’s 2 – 0 win. Jermaine Defoe converted a penalty after Jermaine Jenas handled in the area whilst Peter Crouch converted the rebound from Armand Traore’s well-struck shot. Not even Lassana Diarra’s sending off two minutes from time could dampen ‘Appy ‘Arry’s mood whilst Spurs continue to show what a strong side they are by propping up the table for yet another week.

Carlos Tevez was widely tipped to be remembered for his silky skills when he burst onto the scene in his native Argentina. Sadly for the player, unless he achieves the greatness of Pele or Maradona or their ilk, the abiding memory of his time in England will be that of his transfer to West Ham. The ins and outs are well documented within the media yet they leave several questions unanswered, ones that have far-reaching consequences for the English game.

Third party ownership of players is a common practice on the distant shores of South America yet FIFA and their constituent members from UEFA have developed a distaste for this practice. Unquestionably, there are uncomfortable aspects of such deals but are the authorities overstating the case. Put simply, they believe that undue influence can be put on the playing side of a club if third parties own the economic rights to a player, presumably a key one at that. However, unless there are two sets of circumstances applicable in any case, it is hard to follow their logic.

Fundamentally, it is in the interests of such parties to have their asset on the pitch in every match. The concern is that they dictate to a club / manager that he plays whatever happens, whatever his form or fitness. This cannot be right for their economic rights suffer if his form dips or he plays when injured. Anything that is detrimental to the player’s game is detrimental to their financial interests. In those circumstances, it is hard to see where the interests of a club and the third party conflict as they have, ultimately, the same outcome.

Where the conflict arises most sharply is if the third party has a vested interest in another club but the question that has never been answered is why they would not put or keep the player at that club. This follows in the Tevez case, a club is owned by MIA – Corinthians – and Tevez plays for them. He moved to West Ham and Kia Joorbachian fronts a consortium that tries to buy the club, willingly up for sale at the time. In itself, a logical step albeit one that sits uncomfortably yet where is the difference between ADUG and MIA? Only in the ownership of Tevez, something that would undoubtedly be considered by ADUG if the opportunity to own Robinho, for example, came to bear.

The second instance of discomfort would be any link between the player’s owners and any betting syndicate. This is perhaps the more serious question, one where third party ownership may be subject to extreme concern but once more is it overstated? There are huge monies wagered on football in any country but rarely are there attempts to influence the top sides, more often the cases which are found come as a result of matches in the lower leagues. That is not to dismiss them for those circumstances still call into question the integrity of the sport, even one as obviously corrupt as football.

More immediately, the problem for English football is the governance of the game. As the leading income generator, the Premier League believe their interests matter more than anyone else’s, an arrogant, bullying position to hold and one that will ultimately lead to the downfall of the individuals who bring it to bear. Ridiculed for the ‘Thirty-nine Game Plan’, the Premier League attempt to cross swords with the Football Association at any given corner. Whilst the majority of the points upon which they argue are seemingly trivial, the governance of English football cannot be considered so.

The Premier League’s handling of the disciplinary aspect of the Tevez affair leaves much to be desired. Faced with a decision that would require action impacting the league positions of two teams, independent inquiries ruled to hand out a monetary punishment. This is fundamentally wrong. Whilst the finanicial gain for remaining in the top flight is huge, to allow a transgressor to escape points deductions for infringements committed that allow sporting gain is wrong, ethically and practically. There is little doubt that the influence Tevez had upon the outcome of the season in question is huge; West Ham survived by three points. Remove the points gained by the Argentinean’s goals and they would have been relegated. That is natural justice, not the convoluted punishment handed out by the Premier League.

Moreover, in making the judgement that the Inquiries came to, the natural progression should have been to the Football Association and then the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS), rather than permitting Sheffield United to take their action to the High Court, a motion doomed to fail before it had even been heard. That the Yorkshire club chose to opt for legal rather than ’sporting’ outcomes serves to highlight their folly. The expected judgement is that they will win substantial damages. Had they progressed through sporting channels, perhaps their status as a Premier League club would have been preserved and who knows where they might have progressed to in their second season in the top flight.

Whatever the arguments put forward, the Premier Leaguer is perceived to have closed ranks around West Ham. At the end of the original appeal, Sheffield United should have been directed to the Football Association for a second appeal. This did not happen for were that to have been successful, the Premier League’s control over their members would have been usurped; the ruling body would have been seen to be all-powerful, something that the greed of the top flight clubs will not permit to happen.

English football regularly finds itself at crossroads over the game’s future. This is not quite one of them but merely the taster for what is inevitably to come. The Premier League and Football Association are not comfortable bedfellows; both seek to control the sport in this country and neither will back down willingly unless their long-term gameplan is served. In the not-to-distant future, UEFA and FIFA are going to be faced with a stark choice; back the FA or Premier League. Logic dictates that their constituent member be the beneficiary but money talks and that backing cannot be depended upon. If the battle is won by the Premier League, God help football for those in charge will not have done.