PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY SIX

Arsenal started the day in top spot and were expected to crush Hull City at The Emirates. Football though has a habit of bringing you back to Earth, the visitors doing so by winning 2 – 1. It did not seem that it would be the case when Cesc Fabregas forced McShane to put through his own net five minutes into the second half but Geovanni scored a thumping equaliser from thirty yards, followed by a Cousin header from a corner two minutes later. Hull held out thankful to some fine goalkeeping from Myhill and the intervention of the crossbar from a Gallas header.

The two hundred and eighth Merseyside derby followed the pattern of recent years with Tim Cahill receiving his marching orders for a wild tackle on Xabi Alonso, the eighth player to do so in as many seasons. Everton slumped to a 0 – 2 defeat, Fernando Torres scoring a quick-fire brace to give Liverpool top spot albeit temporarily. Robbie Keane paid back about 50p of his transfer fee by setting up both goals but yet again proved to be closer to becoming the first footballer on the moon than scoring his first Liverpool goal.

Chelsea travelled to the Britannia Stadium, favourites to put Stoke City to a swift end and despite some pressure from the hosts, did exactly that in a 2 – 0 victory. Jose Bosingwa scored his first for the club after his summer move from Porto, the second added by Anelka in the second half. Cristiano Ronaldo made his first Premier League start of the season for Manchester United and scored the first in their 2 – 0 win over Bolton Wanderers in what was a generally lacklustre performance. Ronaldo fell over in the penalty area and unsurprisingly won a spot-kick, which he duly converted. Wayne Rooney emerged from the bench and added a second in the seventy-seventh minute.

Gianfranco Zola’s reign at West Ham continued its’ bright start with a 2 – 1 win at Craven Cottage, Fulham falling closer to the bottom three as a result. Carlton Cole broke the deadlock two minutes before the interval, Matthew Etherington adding the second in injury-time. The hosts rarely looked like pegging them back but a Danny Murphy penalty on the hour gave them hope but The Hammers held out for their second win in a week.

Nobody bet on a 2 – 1 result at The Riverside, just as well really as former ‘Boro captain brought his West Brom team to raid and emerge with a 1 – 0 victory over Middlesbrough thanks to an Olsson goal in the fifty-third minute. A short hop, skip and jump up the road to Newcastle saw the farce at St James Park descend further as Blackburn outplayed them in their 2 – 1 win. Chris Samba opened the scoring with a dubious header, the defender clearly offside when the ball was despatched from a free-kick. Roque Santa Cruz sealed the win four minutes before half-time although Michael Owen won and converted a penalty in the fifty-first minute to offer hope to the Geordies. Another false dawn arose, the debacle completed when it emerged that interim manager, Joe Kinnear, cannot sit on the touchline for two games due to a ban from 2004 that had yet to be served. Still, at least he brightened the day by swearing on Football Focus at lunchtime, much to the embarrassment of the cringeworthy presenter.

Aston Villa are going about their business quietly, climbing to third in the table with a 2 – 1 win over Sunderland, completing a miserable afternoon for the North-East. Footballing Peer, Djibril Cisse, gave the visitors a tenth minute lead, cancelled out by Ashley Young eight minutes later. John Carew won the match on thirty-three, the summer’s tribulations over Gareth Barry disappearing in a haze of good results for The Villains.

Wigan hosted the Manchester City rich kids and promptly taught them that money can’t buy you love or three points for that matter, the hosts winning 2 – 1. Antonio Valencia opened the scoring after a quarter of an hour with a stunning thirty yard effort that left Joe Hart in City goal helpless. Robinho went close soon afterwards but if fell to Vincent Kompany to equalise, heading home an Elano free-kick. The match was settled when Wilson Palacios produced a dive that would earned him 5.9 from Olympic judges. Referee Steve Bennett gave it a 6 and Wigan a penalty that Amr Zaki despatched comfortably.

Tottenham headed to the South Coast and ye olde worlde charms of Fratton Park on a high having won at Newcastle in the Carling Cup. Portsmouth had conceded ten in their last two games so an away win was on the cards. Only kidding, this is Spurs after all and they were undone by two former players and an Arsenal loanee in Pompey’s 2 – 0 win. Jermaine Defoe converted a penalty after Jermaine Jenas handled in the area whilst Peter Crouch converted the rebound from Armand Traore’s well-struck shot. Not even Lassana Diarra’s sending off two minutes from time could dampen ‘Appy ‘Arry’s mood whilst Spurs continue to show what a strong side they are by propping up the table for yet another week.

Tevez And The Future Governance Of English Football

Carlos Tevez was widely tipped to be remembered for his silky skills when he burst onto the scene in his native Argentina. Sadly for the player, unless he achieves the greatness of Pele or Maradona or their ilk, the abiding memory of his time in England will be that of his transfer to West Ham. The ins and outs are well documented within the media yet they leave several questions unanswered, ones that have far-reaching consequences for the English game.

Third party ownership of players is a common practice on the distant shores of South America yet FIFA and their constituent members from UEFA have developed a distaste for this practice. Unquestionably, there are uncomfortable aspects of such deals but are the authorities overstating the case. Put simply, they believe that undue influence can be put on the playing side of a club if third parties own the economic rights to a player, presumably a key one at that. However, unless there are two sets of circumstances applicable in any case, it is hard to follow their logic.

Fundamentally, it is in the interests of such parties to have their asset on the pitch in every match. The concern is that they dictate to a club / manager that he plays whatever happens, whatever his form or fitness. This cannot be right for their economic rights suffer if his form dips or he plays when injured. Anything that is detrimental to the player’s game is detrimental to their financial interests. In those circumstances, it is hard to see where the interests of a club and the third party conflict as they have, ultimately, the same outcome.

Where the conflict arises most sharply is if the third party has a vested interest in another club but the question that has never been answered is why they would not put or keep the player at that club. This follows in the Tevez case, a club is owned by MIA – Corinthians – and Tevez plays for them. He moved to West Ham and Kia Joorbachian fronts a consortium that tries to buy the club, willingly up for sale at the time. In itself, a logical step albeit one that sits uncomfortably yet where is the difference between ADUG and MIA? Only in the ownership of Tevez, something that would undoubtedly be considered by ADUG if the opportunity to own Robinho, for example, came to bear.

The second instance of discomfort would be any link between the player’s owners and any betting syndicate. This is perhaps the more serious question, one where third party ownership may be subject to extreme concern but once more is it overstated? There are huge monies wagered on football in any country but rarely are there attempts to influence the top sides, more often the cases which are found come as a result of matches in the lower leagues. That is not to dismiss them for those circumstances still call into question the integrity of the sport, even one as obviously corrupt as football.

More immediately, the problem for English football is the governance of the game. As the leading income generator, the Premier League believe their interests matter more than anyone else’s, an arrogant, bullying position to hold and one that will ultimately lead to the downfall of the individuals who bring it to bear. Ridiculed for the ‘Thirty-nine Game Plan’, the Premier League attempt to cross swords with the Football Association at any given corner. Whilst the majority of the points upon which they argue are seemingly trivial, the governance of English football cannot be considered so.

The Premier League’s handling of the disciplinary aspect of the Tevez affair leaves much to be desired. Faced with a decision that would require action impacting the league positions of two teams, independent inquiries ruled to hand out a monetary punishment. This is fundamentally wrong. Whilst the finanicial gain for remaining in the top flight is huge, to allow a transgressor to escape points deductions for infringements committed that allow sporting gain is wrong, ethically and practically. There is little doubt that the influence Tevez had upon the outcome of the season in question is huge; West Ham survived by three points. Remove the points gained by the Argentinean’s goals and they would have been relegated. That is natural justice, not the convoluted punishment handed out by the Premier League.

Moreover, in making the judgement that the Inquiries came to, the natural progression should have been to the Football Association and then the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS), rather than permitting Sheffield United to take their action to the High Court, a motion doomed to fail before it had even been heard. That the Yorkshire club chose to opt for legal rather than ’sporting’ outcomes serves to highlight their folly. The expected judgement is that they will win substantial damages. Had they progressed through sporting channels, perhaps their status as a Premier League club would have been preserved and who knows where they might have progressed to in their second season in the top flight.

Whatever the arguments put forward, the Premier Leaguer is perceived to have closed ranks around West Ham. At the end of the original appeal, Sheffield United should have been directed to the Football Association for a second appeal. This did not happen for were that to have been successful, the Premier League’s control over their members would have been usurped; the ruling body would have been seen to be all-powerful, something that the greed of the top flight clubs will not permit to happen.

English football regularly finds itself at crossroads over the game’s future. This is not quite one of them but merely the taster for what is inevitably to come. The Premier League and Football Association are not comfortable bedfellows; both seek to control the sport in this country and neither will back down willingly unless their long-term gameplan is served. In the not-to-distant future, UEFA and FIFA are going to be faced with a stark choice; back the FA or Premier League. Logic dictates that their constituent member be the beneficiary but money talks and that backing cannot be depended upon. If the battle is won by the Premier League, God help football for those in charge will not have done.

PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY 5

Chelsea entertained Manchester United at Stamford Bridge, the scene last season of alleged racial abuse leading to a contretemps between United players and Chelsea groundstaff, disciplinary action still sitting gathering cobwebs at the FA Headquarters. This time, the trouble was on the pitch, seven United players cautioned triggering an automatic £25k fine, three of which were for dissent, making a mockery of the FA’s RESPECT campaign. An enthralling encounter took place with Park giving United an eighteenth minute lead, almost cancelled out by Joe Cole later in the first half. As it was, Salomon Kalou saved the host’s blushes with ten minutes to go, giving both sides’ equal shares. To whom the point is most valuable will become more apparent next May.

Liverpool meanwhile were confident of hitting the top spot and seemed to be well on their way in the second minute when Steven Gerrard appeared to have scored his one hundredth goal for the club against Stoke City. Inexplicably, it was ruled out whereupon the visitors defended the siege of Anfield, putting heads, legs, bodies and every other extremity in the way, surviving to gain a point with no little help from the fact that Robbie Keane cannot hit a barn door at the moment, let alone find the back of the net. Five games in and still no sign of his immensely over-inflated transfer fee being repaid.

With all this point sharing going on, Arsenal took full advantage by coming from a goal down to emerge victorious at The Reebok by a 3 – 1 scoreline. Kevin Davies gave Bolton Wanderers the lead on just before the quarter of an hour mark, an advantage that lasted all of ten minutes. Emmanuel Eboue took advantage of a misjudgement by the officials, clearly offside he played to the whistle that only came after he had scored an equaliser at the near post. Sixty seconds later, all that is wonderful about The Gunners allowed Nicklas Bendtner to slide in for a second. The passing and vision of the Arsenal midfield, combined with their speed of thought and movement was too much for the pedestrian Bolton defence.

Davies then decided to put in some physical intimidation on Gael Clichy, fortunate that his recklessness did not break the Frenchman’s leg. Final revenge was extracted when Theo Walcott scared the living bejesus out of six Bolton defenders by running at them, laying the ball off to Adebayor whose cross should have been met with a simple tap-in by Denilson. The Brazilian decided that a rasping sidefooted shot into the roof of the net was more aesthetically pleasing and emphatic, a third Arsenal goal still the final outcome.

Aston Villa have been sneaking up on the rails all season and crept into the top four with a 2 – 1 derby win at The Hawthorns. Not that West Brom were entirely congenial hosts, Clinton Morrison pegging back two Villa goals in two minutes – John Carew and Gabriel Agbonlahor the scorers – with ten minutes to go to half-time. Despite The Baggies trying to huff and puff and blow the Villa defence down, the scoreline could, and perhaps should, have been wider.

Middlesbrough broke a million gamblers’ hearts by failing to score at The Stadium Of Light as Sunderland strode to a 2 – 0 victory. Had ‘Boro scored, a new Premier League record of five consecutive 2 – 1 results would have been created, beating the current Middlesbrough squad’s season best of four. Michael Chopra was the Sunderland hero with two goals in the final nine minutes. Anyone who has suffered losses as a result of ‘Boro’s failure to score is advised to blame Stewart Downing, who capped his incredibly poor international performances by missing a penalty.

Gianfranco Zola took charge of West Ham for the first time and saw them use Newcastle as a mop, wiping the floor with The Geordies in a 3 – 1 win. Italian journeyman, Davide di Michele, scored twice with Matthew Etherington adding a third; Michael Owen scored for the visitors in front of the watching Fabio Capello. It ought to be enough for the former Golden Boy to regain his place in the national team for if anyone can score for a side as poor as Newcastle, scoring at international level is a doddle.

Hull City warmed up for their visit to The Emirates by stealing a two-goal lead against Everton inside the first fifty minutes at the KC and The Sunshine Band stadium. They were tapping their toes as Turner gave the hosts the lead on eighteen, dancing in the aisles when a Phil Neville own goal increased the advantage with the second half barely five minutes old. Bottoms returned to seats when Tim Cahill pulled one back with sixteen minutes to go and the dancing in the home stand become rather more erratic and twitchy when Leon Osman scored the equaliser with twelve minutes remaining.

Blackburn Rovers overcame dogged Fulham defence at Ewood Park to win by a solitary Matt Derbyshire goal six minutes from time. Their status is a warning to the “World’s Richest Football Club” of what happens when an investor no longer pumps the funds into the club, something Manchester City need to bear in mind. Not that it really matters at the moment as Portsmouth were the sacrificial lambs at Eastlands, a 6 – 0 drubbing handed out quite deservedly with Stephen Ireland the star of the show. Jo started the rout on thirteen minutes before Stephen Dunne added a second seven minutes later. The match really sparked into life as the hour mark approached when the obligatory Robinho goal was followed ten minutes later by Shaun Wright-Phillips third in two games. Evans and Gelson finished the destruction with two goals in the final twelve minutes to hoist The Citizens to fifth spot.

PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY FOUR

The leaders went into the weekend level on points, both facing Mancunian opposition. Liverpool met fire with fire at Anfield, defeating Manchester United 2 – 1 to briefly claim top spot. Dimitar Berbatov’s debut turned out to be a damp squib despite setting up Carlos Tevez for the opener with barely three minutes on the clock. United’s slow start to the season was re-instated as the result of a self-inflicted wound, Wes Brown turning into his own net with the half-hour mark approaching. With a draw looming on the horizon, Ryan Babel settled the match with thirteen minutes remaining. The action was not over as Nemanja Vidic received his marching orders for leading with an elbow in the final minute. Local Cow News: None are worried at all when Robbie Keane appears with a banjo because they know he will not be able to hit their rear-ends. Defences feel the same when he approaches goal as he still cannot score. Maybe he will have to try to buy a goal instead.

Chelsea meanwhile faced former player, Mark Hughes, at Eastlands, where his new owners watched Manchester City, Robinho and all, slump to a 1 – 3 defeat. The £32m man gave City the lead in the thirteenth minute with a trademark freekick, one that the watching Frank Lampard could have only admired such was the deflection the ball took into the net. Chelsea hit back swiftly, Ricardo Carvalho equalising three minutes later. Their dominance was confirmed in the fifty-third minute when Lampard scored and a quarter of an hour later, former City striker Nicolas Anelka bit the hand that used to feed with the visitors third. John Terry was rightly dismissed for a professional foul with thirteen minutes remaining but the weak, lily-livered nature of the Football Association came to the fore when they rescinded the red card on the basis that Terry was not the last man, despite the fact that he was. It does not matter that two other Chelsea players may have been in close proximity, the bare fact is that Terry had nobody behind him and should have missed three games as a consequence of his cheating actions.

Talking of which, Arsenal moved into third spot as they crushed Blackburn Rovers at Ewood Park, the 4 – 0 scoreline doing scant justice to the visitors command of the match. Robin van Persie struck in the eighth minute for the second week running to give Arsenal the lead, an advantage that was doubled in first half injury time by Emmanuel Adebayor. The Togolese international then converted an eighty-first minute penalty and completed his hat-trick two minutes into injury time to give The Gunners their just rewards.

Hull City proved to be the yo-yo team of the season, crushed by Wigan in the second week but capitalising on the disarray at St James Park by winning 2 – 1 over Newcastle United. Marlon King scored twice for the visitors, one in each half, before Xisco scored his first goal for The Magpies with eight minutes remaining. The match is best (or worst) remembered for the reckless, pointless and thuggish challenge by Chris Guthrie which broke Craig Fagan’s leg in injury time. Newcastle have enough on their plate with Joey Barton and have little need for anyone who takes him as a role model.

West Bromwich Albion gained their first win of the season, defeating West Ham United 3 – 2 at The Hawthorns. The afternoon started with a bang as Clinton Morrison opened the scoring after three minutes, Mark Noble equalising on the half-hour. Five minutes later, the visitors resumed what seemed to be normal service as captain Lucas Neill gave them the lead but the Baggies fought back almost immediately as Roman Bednar converted a thirty-seventh minute penalty to allow Albion into the interval on level terms. Both sides shored up defensively but a killer blow was struck by the hosts with seven minutes to go as James Brunt scored the winner. Onlooking new Hammers boss Gianfranco Zola looked bemused by what was happening, surely he could not have forgotten the topsy-turvy world that West Ham inhabit during his absence from the English game?

Did you get to the bookies in time? You did! Well done for putting down the correct score of 2 – 1 to the home side for Middlesbrough were in town, visiting Portsmouth. The hosts were looking to build upon their comprehensive victory at Goodison Park a week earlier and did so thanks to a Jermaine Defoe brace. It was three points though that were gained the hard way as they had to overturn Mido’s twenty-fourth minute opener that left ‘Boro still looking for their first away points of the season.

Wigan Athletic and Sunderland are expected to be in the relegation shake-up come the season’s end so it was hardly surprising that a 1 – 1 draw ensued when the teams met at the JJB Stadium. Titus Bramble put through his own net on fifteen minutes as The Black Cats dominated but the hosts earned their point as their goalscoring machine, Emile Heskey, equalised. Just kidding, Heskey has reached his quota for the season already and it was Zaki was scored with twelve minutes remaining. Fulham could not buy a win until the last few weeks of the season yet recorded their second in as many home games, beating Bolton Wanderers 2 – 1 at Craven Cottage. Zoltan Gera opened his account for The Cottagers on fifteen minutes, Bobby Zamora doing likewise on forty-one to give the hosts an unassailable two-goal advantage at half-time. Bolton huffed and puffed but could not blow the Fulham cottage down until the eighty-second minute when chief porker, Kevin Davies, scored.

Stoke City were, along with Hull City expected to be whipping boys in the top flight this season. Whilst the team from the Humber are doing their best to scrape out points early on, The Potters are beginning to live up to expectations and were comfortably beaten by Everton, despite the 2 – 3 scoreline suggesting otherwise. The visitors dominated and the surprise was that it took Yakubu forty-one minutes to give them the lead. Anichebe doubled that on fifty-one as Everton hit cruise control. They stumbled though as two goals in eight minutes brought the home side level. Olofinjana began the fightback on fifty-five before Phil Jagielka put through his own net on sixty-three. Despite this, it seemed only a matter of time until Everton added to their tally, Tim Cahill duly doing so with seventy-seven minutes played.

Doctors and research frequently mention that a smile or laugh works wonders for your health. In which case, all Arsenal fans must be really happy and in tip-top condition when they look at Tottenham’s results. This time a 1 – 2 home defeat to Aston Villa. It had been suggested that they missed Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane but they would not have made any difference as neither has scored yet. Nigel Reo-Coker gave the visitors the lead on five minutes, doubled when Ashley Young scored nine minutes after the interval. Some consolation was gained when Darren Bent scored with five minutes remaining but Spurs are bottom and half of North London is giggling away quite happily.

PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY THREE

Manchester United’s match against Fulham was a casualty as the Champions League winners crashed to defeat in Monaco against Zenit St Petersburg in the European Super Cup final. Sir Alex Ferguson consoled himself by going shopping, his mood brightened by finding a Dimitar Berbatov on the shelf, looking all upset and lonely, the price of £30.75m considered a bargain by the Scot.

At home, Chelsea and Liverpool went into their fixtures against Tottenham and Aston Villa defending their 100% start’s to the season. Both had upcoming home games against the defending Champions and were hopeful of maximum points to put a considerable distance between them and United at this early stage of the season. Things did not go to plan as points were squandered in draws. Jose Mourinho once commented that Tottenham had parked tanks on the Chelsea lawn to earn a draw, Luis Felipe Scolari was equally frustrated as Belletti’s twenty-eight minute opener was cancelled out by goalscorer extraordinaire, Darren Bent, equalised as the first half drew to a close. At Villa Park, Liverpool were on top for a lot of the game but could not breach the Aston Villa defence. Robbie Keane did not score nor did he get booked, so he has nothing to remember this game by.

Arsenal slipped into gear and into fourth place with a comfortable cruise through Newcastle United, three goals for the hosts in the first hour were met with no reply. Robin van Persie drilled home an eigth minute penalty, adding his second four minutes before the interval. So bad were the visitors in the first half that Mike Ashley mistook the Arsenal crowd’s chants of ‘Down in one’ for a challenge to drink a pint of lager in one gulp, little realising that they were taunting him about the Toon’s impending relegation.

Football fans often seek solace in the misery of their local rivals, a route not allowed for Sunderland fans as they slumped to a 0 – 3 home reverse to Manchester City. Shaun Wright-Phillips celebrated his homecoming with two goals in eight second half minutes, adding to Stephen Ireland’s opener in first half injury time. City would be very active in the final twenty-four hours of the transfer window, new owners, ADUG, finding that buying the club cost £32m more than they originally bargained for as it came with a Robinho from Real Madrid. The Brazilian raised eyebrows with the move, facial arching that increased when he stated that he was happy to be joining Chelsea a few days later at a press conference in his homeland but that is a story for another day.

The forwards of the newly-promoted teams could not hit a cow’s backside with a banjo as West Bromwich Albion gained a creditable goalless draw at Bolton Wanderers whilst their peers both lost. Middlesbrough gave an indication that 2 – 1 might be a good bet as a correct score for their matches by defeating Stoke City by that scoreline, Alves and Sanli for the home side, a Justin Hoyte own goal for the visitors, repeating Robert Huth’s feat on the opening day. For Hull City reality bit them firmly on the rear as they were given a masterclass in counter-attacking football by Wigan Athletic, of all people. The hosts defence was breached by the visitors five times without reply, Egyptian striker Zaki having a hand in four,