PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY SIX

Arsenal started the day in top spot and were expected to crush Hull City at The Emirates. Football though has a habit of bringing you back to Earth, the visitors doing so by winning 2 – 1. It did not seem that it would be the case when Cesc Fabregas forced McShane to put through his own net five minutes into the second half but Geovanni scored a thumping equaliser from thirty yards, followed by a Cousin header from a corner two minutes later. Hull held out thankful to some fine goalkeeping from Myhill and the intervention of the crossbar from a Gallas header.

The two hundred and eighth Merseyside derby followed the pattern of recent years with Tim Cahill receiving his marching orders for a wild tackle on Xabi Alonso, the eighth player to do so in as many seasons. Everton slumped to a 0 – 2 defeat, Fernando Torres scoring a quick-fire brace to give Liverpool top spot albeit temporarily. Robbie Keane paid back about 50p of his transfer fee by setting up both goals but yet again proved to be closer to becoming the first footballer on the moon than scoring his first Liverpool goal.

Chelsea travelled to the Britannia Stadium, favourites to put Stoke City to a swift end and despite some pressure from the hosts, did exactly that in a 2 – 0 victory. Jose Bosingwa scored his first for the club after his summer move from Porto, the second added by Anelka in the second half. Cristiano Ronaldo made his first Premier League start of the season for Manchester United and scored the first in their 2 – 0 win over Bolton Wanderers in what was a generally lacklustre performance. Ronaldo fell over in the penalty area and unsurprisingly won a spot-kick, which he duly converted. Wayne Rooney emerged from the bench and added a second in the seventy-seventh minute.

Gianfranco Zola’s reign at West Ham continued its’ bright start with a 2 – 1 win at Craven Cottage, Fulham falling closer to the bottom three as a result. Carlton Cole broke the deadlock two minutes before the interval, Matthew Etherington adding the second in injury-time. The hosts rarely looked like pegging them back but a Danny Murphy penalty on the hour gave them hope but The Hammers held out for their second win in a week.

Nobody bet on a 2 – 1 result at The Riverside, just as well really as former ‘Boro captain brought his West Brom team to raid and emerge with a 1 – 0 victory over Middlesbrough thanks to an Olsson goal in the fifty-third minute. A short hop, skip and jump up the road to Newcastle saw the farce at St James Park descend further as Blackburn outplayed them in their 2 – 1 win. Chris Samba opened the scoring with a dubious header, the defender clearly offside when the ball was despatched from a free-kick. Roque Santa Cruz sealed the win four minutes before half-time although Michael Owen won and converted a penalty in the fifty-first minute to offer hope to the Geordies. Another false dawn arose, the debacle completed when it emerged that interim manager, Joe Kinnear, cannot sit on the touchline for two games due to a ban from 2004 that had yet to be served. Still, at least he brightened the day by swearing on Football Focus at lunchtime, much to the embarrassment of the cringeworthy presenter.

Aston Villa are going about their business quietly, climbing to third in the table with a 2 – 1 win over Sunderland, completing a miserable afternoon for the North-East. Footballing Peer, Djibril Cisse, gave the visitors a tenth minute lead, cancelled out by Ashley Young eight minutes later. John Carew won the match on thirty-three, the summer’s tribulations over Gareth Barry disappearing in a haze of good results for The Villains.

Wigan hosted the Manchester City rich kids and promptly taught them that money can’t buy you love or three points for that matter, the hosts winning 2 – 1. Antonio Valencia opened the scoring after a quarter of an hour with a stunning thirty yard effort that left Joe Hart in City goal helpless. Robinho went close soon afterwards but if fell to Vincent Kompany to equalise, heading home an Elano free-kick. The match was settled when Wilson Palacios produced a dive that would earned him 5.9 from Olympic judges. Referee Steve Bennett gave it a 6 and Wigan a penalty that Amr Zaki despatched comfortably.

Tottenham headed to the South Coast and ye olde worlde charms of Fratton Park on a high having won at Newcastle in the Carling Cup. Portsmouth had conceded ten in their last two games so an away win was on the cards. Only kidding, this is Spurs after all and they were undone by two former players and an Arsenal loanee in Pompey’s 2 – 0 win. Jermaine Defoe converted a penalty after Jermaine Jenas handled in the area whilst Peter Crouch converted the rebound from Armand Traore’s well-struck shot. Not even Lassana Diarra’s sending off two minutes from time could dampen ‘Appy ‘Arry’s mood whilst Spurs continue to show what a strong side they are by propping up the table for yet another week.

PREMIER LEAGUE – MATCHDAY ONE

The 2008/09 campaign kicked off with the top three from last season all at home, all avoiding defeat. Arsenal set the ball rolling with the lunchtime kick-off against last season’s Championship title winners, West Bromwich Albion. Having been relatively inactive during the summer transfer window, The Gunner’s major signing, Samir Nasri, took just four minutes to introduce himself to The Emirates crowd. A signature flowing move down the left took the ball to the touchline where Denilson cut the ball back to the Frenchman to sweep the ball home. It was to be the only goal of the game but not for lack of Arsenal effort with Albion rarely threatening their host’s.

The defending Champions, Manchester United, found Newcastle United to be unusually obdurate. Missing last season’s golden boy Cristiano Ronaldo, the home side lacked a cutting edge and were taken by surprise when Obefami Martins opened the scoring for the visitors midway through the first half. Such joy was shortlived as United equalised through Darren Fletcher but despite Vidic hitting the bar late on, the Toon Army travelling back to Tyneside with a well-deserved point.

Chelsea on the other hand made light work of Luis Felipe Scolari’s first match in charge, FA Cup winners Portsmouth proving to be lambs to the slaughter. Joe Cole set the ball rolling in their 4 – 0 drubbing of Portsmouth with the opener on twelve minutes, a lead doubled on twenty six when Nicolas Anelka broke his Premier League duck for the season. The end to a contest long viewed as over was confirmed in the final minute of the first half when Frank Lampard converted a penalty. Deco made his debut and scored with two minutes of the match remaining, giving the Chelsea board the style they craved in Scolari’s first match in charge.

New boys Hull City, making their debut in the top flight of English football, entertained Fulham at the KC Stadium. They proved to be the Sunshine Band as they overcame Ki-Hyeon’s eighth minute opener for the visitors through Geovanni midway through the first half and Folan with nine minutes remaining to give The Tigers a 2 – 1 opening day victory.

Performance of the weekend though surely belonged to Blackburn Rovers who scraped a victory at Goodison Park. David Moyes had found it difficult to strengthen his squad during the summer and the lethargy seemed to severely impact Everton as they fell behind to a cracker from David Dunn midway through the first half. Spaniard Mikel Arteta spared blushes by equalising two minutes before the interval and Evertonians believed in a bright new future when Yakubu put them ahead midway through the second half. It was a short-lived joy as Roque Santa Cruz equalised two minutes later with The Toffees coming unstuck as the visitors took three deserved points when Andre Oojer scored with almost the last kick of the ball.

Sunderland entertained Liverpool at the Stadium of Light and despite holding out for eighty-three minutes, they succumbed to Fernando Torres’ first strike of the season. It was a rare bright spot for the Merseysider’s following the summer’s aborted and terminally dull courtship of Gareth Barry, mixed with the interminable in-fighting between their owners, eventually agreeing a truce that will last all of about five minutes. Oh, and Robbie Keane did not score for the first time this season.

Tottenham Hotspur were once again tipped to be the team to break into the cosy cartel of teams in the top four and once again failed abysmally to live up to that expectation, fading almost invisibly to a 1 – 2 defeat at The Riverside. Hosts Middlesbrough took the lead with twenty minutes to go when David Wheater scored, Spurs old boy Mido doubling the advantage with four minutes to go. Indeed, a Tottenham player failed to find the back of the net all afternoon as their goal was down to Robert Huth putting through his own net three minutes into injury time.

Stoke City were many people’s tip to go straight back down to The Championship and set about proving the pundits right with a poor performance at The Reebok. Bolton Wanderers took the lead on thirty-four minutes through Steinsson, Kevin Davies adding a second before the interval. The points were wrapped up in first half injury time when another summer addition to The Trotters squad, Jonas Elmander scored his first goal for the club. Scant consolation was gained when Fuller opened The Potters account for the season with barely a minute of the match remaining.

At Upton Park, Dean Ashton scored twice in the opening ten minutes to give West Ham United an unassailable lead against Wigan Athletic. Zaki pulled one back for the visitors two minutes into the second half as they looked set to struggle during the coming campaign.

Aston Villa met fellow UEFA Cup competitors Manchester City in a pulsating clash at Villa Park, emerging victorious with a 4 – 2 win. Surprisingly it took forty-seven minutes for the opening goal, John Carew for Villa beginning the glut. Elano equalised from the spot just past the hour before Gabi Agbonlahor took over the show, scoring a hat-trick in seven minutes. Corluka’s final goal for City before his protracted move to Tottenham served only as a goodbye gift for the stunned visitors.